THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Couch. On fire.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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