i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
