piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
