he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
