I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
