She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
