You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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