Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize