Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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