I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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