I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
