What did we do last night that was yellow?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize