so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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