i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
