Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Randomize
