forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
ttyl tear gas
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
