dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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