We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
