pop tarts are not kleenex
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just had sex on a roof
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
