Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
