we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
