I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
