good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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