Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
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Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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