Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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