8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
