i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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