Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
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Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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