Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
God, you're like boner-b-gone
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
