And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
