and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
