I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
