insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
