She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
what day is it and did you see me today?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
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i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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