Barsexuality is the new black.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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