she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
