you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
