Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize