YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
