dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He shit in the fireplace
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