Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
