There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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