i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize