So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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