i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
