I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
