His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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