Im at strip club and am horny
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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