Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You smell like stripper and shame
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's official drugs can't kill me
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
