Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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