So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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