woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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