Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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