her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
