puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
