You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
